December 24, 2013

Boring Boring Chelski

You can read any of the posts I've done in the past and notice I've barely mentioned the referee's performance, let alone blame the bloke. Last night the referee not only sided with the wanky ones, but changed the game single handedly. 

I'm positive the FA don't say to their refs, "Ok ladies, be sure that you put yourself in the spot light and make this game all about you. And don't forget, it's not about the quality of the footballers, it all about you!"

Mike Dean must surely have thought he was on center stage last night, while missing the entire game. When the coward, Mikel went in on Arteta my initial thought was he'd snapped his leg in two. The easiest red card I've seen in months, and not even a free kick was given. This was immediately followed by Walcott being brought down in the box, yet no penalty was given. One of those incidents could have been the game changer, or rather should have been.

Aside from the toad faced knob end with the whistle, the game was rather boring. Chelsea went out with an industrial Dyson and sucked every last bit of quality out of the game they possibly could. They remind me of a 300lb disgusting woman that won't let her husband go out with his mates, so because she doesn't want to have a good time they both end up having a shit evening. Perhaps that's why Chelski can't fill all the seats at Stamford Bridge to save their lives. It must have been rather special for them to come to a nice stadium where there are lots of people and the home team plays attractive football. A nice day out for them I suppose.

Our handsome French Striker really should have won us the game a couple of times, but managed to miss from a few yards. Many people have contacted since last night expressing their desire to sign a new striker, and while I understand where their coming from, it's not like Giroud has been poor this season. The last handfull of games he clearly needed to do a little better, but I don't think it's the need to replace him necessarily, it's the need for a top striker to support him from the bench. I wondered whether we'd see Podolski come of the bench, but it wasn't to be. I'd be very interested to see him deployed as striker in the coming weeks as he gets his fitness back.

Overall the best team did not win. Chelsea went out not to lose, which is not only cowardly but boring beyond belief. I genuinely feel sorry for snobby faced little Chelski fans, they must go home after watching that bunch of oafs and want to end it all. Imagine watching John Terry and his huge head run around the field for 90 minutes every week. I shudder when I picture it.

Obviously they've lost their 'winning edge' this season and have reverted to trying to break the oppositions legs whenever possible. Ivanovic kicked Ozil in the face later in the game and then had the cheek to try and fight him for complaining. A true sign of a player frustrated with having to sit in the same changing room as the fat wanker, Lampard. 

The morale to this story is, don't hate Chelski fans, embrace them. They are subjected to hideous acts of cuntishness on a regular basis, so all they need is a hug. They've got a manager that would rather act on TV and do funny little cute things for the camera while standing on the sideline that actually manage his players. Poor Chelski fans. Please, it's Christmas, reach out and put a hand on the shoulder of the nearest pompus Chelski fan and tell them, "It's going to be OK, Terry and Lampard will retire soon."
It's the right thing for us as good human beings to do. This is the time of year to reach out to those less fortunate that ourselves. Yes they've won trophies, but is it all worth it when you've got to parade around in that blue shirt that makes you look even more like a mong that you already did? 

This Christmas, I implore you, have a heart and say something nice to those Russian wannabes down in Fulham. Come December 26th we can all go back to calling them money grubbing, creepy, arrogant knob ends again! Joy!

We weren't top this Christmas, but I'll call it joint top, just to make myself feel better and enjoy Christmas a little more. I hope you and all you families have a great day whether you celebrate it or not. If nothing else, celebrate Arteta's hair for Christmas Day.