I'm asking, borderline begging for someone to email me with an explanation of what just happened in regards to the loan deal Arsenal Football Club just completed. Please, seriously, I must be missing something, right?
I'm going to attempt to type out what just happened, but in a number of different ways. If you'll just bare with me, because more than anything it's just so I can get a grasp on what Wenger, or anyone at Arsenal was thinking. To the best of my comprehension, this is what I can make out:
A) We just signed an injured player to act as cover for the injured players we already have.
B) We just signed a guy, knowing full well he was injured for the next six games, because we have Flamini out for 3 games, and Wilshere out for 2. So simple math implies.... oh, shit.
C) Arsenal Football Club have loaned a 31 year old midfielder because three of our current midfielders are injured, so this new midfielder will help our squad depth while their injured. Except he's injured too.
D) What the hell just happened? Does anyone at Arsenal Football Club know what the hell just happened?
E) Somebody quite clearly broke into the Arsenal offices at Emirates Stadium, called Spartak Moscow and ironed out a quite brilliant loan deal.
Honestly, I apologise for the optimism in some of my last blogs regarding this January transfer window. I believe at one point I called it 'exciting' and that the next couple of weeks would be 'interesting'. On February 1st, 2014 I can confirm that the last month was neither exciting nor was it in the least bit interesting as far as transfers are concerned. In fact, the only word I can muster to describe this transfer is 'bollocks'. And not in the nice way either, just sweaty, horribly maintained, wrinkly old bollocks.
I think we, as Gooners, deserve some sort of official explanation for this rancid piece of business. After all, this deal was essentially conducted with fans' money, so let's hear it. My fear is that we'll get some sort of classic "He is experienced and will add quality" bullshit from the manager, but that will simply not be good enough. This was a simply awful transfer deal, and absolutely stinks of desperation and an attempt to subdue the imminent moaning from disgruntled (quite rightly so) fans.
At this point I have to stop, as my brain has shut down due to the inability to merely comprehend this entire situation. I will mention, however, that the lads name is Kim Kallstrom and that he's a 31 year old midfielder. I feel for him, because he's probably going to feel the frustration from the fans first hand, but when and if he does play I hope he sets the pitch on fire (perhaps literally).
I hope Arsene Wenger hasn't signed that contract extension yet, because we need to add an "Insanity" or simply "Incompetent" clause in there somewhere first. I fear, however, that he might have already reached that point after this calamity. Wow, just wow. Here's to a great result and 3 points to cheer us all up! Knowing our luck so far in February Chamakh will go and score 5 against us. Bollocks.
Come on you fully-fit-and-not-at-all-injured Gunners!!!!!