March 12, 2015

The Thing About Chelsea

By Michael Clements


We've been rather lucky Gooners this past week or so, getting a couple of wins in the Premier League and then witnessing a sublime FA Cup quarter final at Old Trafford. Sometimes Arsenal don't have to even step foot on the field for me to get that feeling of joy and gratification - watching Chelsea get knocked out of the Champions League (before us) despite having sabotaged Paris Saint Germain as much as they could was almost up there with an Arsenal win. Watching Terry and Cahill mark each other while Luiz headed in the first equalizer was something I daydream about - the sort of calamitous performance you expect from two utter giant bell ends.

Part of the reason we appreciate our beloved club, The Arsenal, is because they do things right. Financially they're sustainable, they handle the media in a modest way with little drama, they show fans the upmost respect and our boys on the field mirror all that with the way they conduct themselves in games. The eleven stacks of shit wearing blue shirts at Stamford Bridge Wednesday night clearly don't operate in the same manner.

When Zlatan went in on Oscar and was promptly given a red card, the way in which the Chelsea players surrounded the referee was despicable. I wasn't sure Jamie Carragher could string a 6 word sentence together, but his opinions on the incident, and the game itself were spot on;

"The reaction from the Chelsea players is disgraceful and it's sad. It's something that's coming into the game and it comes from Jose Mourinho's teams. They have this reaction, it's not a one-off"

Sometimes I hear Chelsea fans reason people's hatred for their club with the argument that we're all jealous of their success, and while I would love for Arsenal to be top of the league right now, being a fan of Chelsea is something that makes me feel sick. The reason the majority of human beings on this planet get frustrated with Chelsea and their following of sheep is because they don't have that class that the top teams in England have. Manchester United and Liverpool both help Arsenal maintain that level of integrity we've come to expect from the Premier League (apart from United's shambolic diving shenanigans Monday night, of course).

Then there's Diego Costa. We've had the chance to watch rambunctious players like this before; Cantona, Barton, Suarez etc., but Costa tops the lot on my opinion. See for yourself in this video, as he demonstrates how to be a cock in the most efficient way. In some ways it's quite impressive how somebody has such little self control that they can act in such a ludicrous and foolish way. 

So, the thing about Chelsea is not only the unintelligent fan base, it can't be blamed solely on the way they only pick the dumbest and most hideous players to occupy their stadium, and it's not just the way they have cheated their way to success with Russian oil money - it's all of those things. 

Thank you Chelsea, for making this week even better. Now, if you'd be so kind as to continue your collapse in the Premier League then I think there would be 19 other teams that would greatly appreciate it. Although, if I had to choose between Chelsea plummeting from grace or John Terry being locked in an enclosure with angry, horny gorillas then I'd probably take the gorillas.
May this week last forever.

Up The Arsenal!