By Michael Clements
Watching Mourinho fumble for words that would make him sound confident and able has been nothing short of hilarious so far this season. His audacious attempts to undermine his opponents, especially Wenger, have been particularly amusing. Most of us can see through his facade and realise that the man is beginning to break. Chelsea's recent results in the League are evidence of this and it proves that matches are won on the pitch, not in front of the media days before. It's the blatant contempt of his fellow managers and his overwhelming arrogance that moves people to enjoy watching the Portuguese fella crack. And cracking he is.
This weeks results in the Champions League have slowed our momentum, as well as giving Chelsea a boost days before we head to the bus stop in Fulham, but this is still our best chance of getting three points against the wankers in blue for a long time.
Arsenal currently sit an encouraging 4th in the Premier League, but our performances have left Gooners with a sense of vulnerability. Walcott has been deployed up front and has seemingly locked up that starting position, but you've got to wonder if that's going to work for us on Saturday. Stoke gave us plenty of room for Walcott to run around, but you've got to assume that the Chelsea bus is going to be firmly parked and Theo will find it very hard to find a break through. While Giroud had an awful game in Zagreb, he's got to be our best option against a rigid Mourinho defense. I'd prefer that John Terry started too, to be honest - if nothing more than to add a little comedy relief as he bumbles around the pitch trying to stick his dick in anything that resembles Wayne Bridges wife (careful Bellarin). The dopey Englishman also opens Chelsea up to more mistakes, so let's hope for one last appearance against Arsenal.
Perhaps one of the most interesting parts of the match will be the home fans. I've tossed this around for a while and I still find it incredible how 35,000 lepers and morons manage to congregate in what appears to be an organized fashion. I assume there are mildly intelligent people helping these idiots to their seats, but how do we explain the singing? It's almost audible. Fascinating that such a philistine environment that harbors such delinquents can so closely resemble what we know as civilization. True, they haven't quite mastered the English language yet, nor have they learned how to dress themselves, but it's heartwarming that they have managed to learn so much from the Twilight series.
Our Big Fucking German has been criticized a bit early on this season, maybe partly due to his replacement, Gabriel doing so well when called upon, but I think Per still has an important role to play for this club. Some pointed to a lack of leadership in Zagreb and that's precisely what the BFG adds when he takes the field. Debuchy is guaranteed to get chewed out if he loses his man like he did Wednesday, while Gibbs would rightly be handed his own leg to beat himself with if he defended a set piece like he did for the second goal. That's what is missing. Accountability, the pressure to perform and most importantly, a good bollocking if you're flapping about. I'd be curious to watch a BFG & Gabriel experiment, since Kos hasn't been flawless either. Either way it's a great thing to be talking about our 3rd defender making a valid bid to break into the starting line up, polar to our striker situation.
While I don't want to make this about the transfer window, because ripping Chelsea is so fun.. and easy, it has to be said that Giroud's red card against Zagreb is now making Wenger's lack of striker additions in the summer window seem a lot more clumsy. Now we're looking at the next couple of Champions League matches with Walcott upfront and Campbell on the bench - not exactly options that strike fear into the likes of Barca and Bayern. It's only a two game suspension (I think), but it's the realization that if either Oliver or Theo go down for a few games, what next? Ugh.
I'll be in Toronto for my 10th wedding anniversary Saturday, so do me a favor boys and get the three points, otherwise it's going to be a miserable weekend for the missus. I wonder if Canadian Chelsea fans are as simple and doltish as the rest?
Come On You Gunners!