March 23, 2014

At Least We're Not Chelsea Fans

Well, when Arsenal lose, we really do it emphatically. And I don't mean emphatically like any sort of exciting thrill ride or anything like that. Somehow, even with the manager's 1,000th game on the line, the Arsenal players on the field Saturday managed to all simultaneously squat and take a massive shit on all Arsenal fans across the planet. 

I genuinely thought the players would be well up for this game, for several reasons. First of all, as we all know and as I mentioned, it was Arsene Wenger's 1,000th game as manager of Arsenal Football Club. A massive feat whichever way you look at it, and something the player's have to respect. Secondly, this may not have been a title deciding game so to speak, but it would have gone a long way to putting us right back into the thick of things for the last 8 games of the season. Thirdly, if a player wearing the famous Arsenal cannon on his chest doesn't want to go out there and kick the scummy, lousy, racist, filthy life out of John Terry and ensure he goes home to his wife teammates wives without three points then there's something wrong. 

There was an awful lot wrong with the game at Stamford Bridge on Saturday, and there is absolutely no way we deserve to go on and win the League with performances like that. The people I was lucky enough to watch the game with had the same sense of belief I had, that this Arsenal team can fight with the best of 'em when they're at their best. So the only question you can ask, really, is what the shit happened? 

I have a slightly different outlook of the infamous mistaken identity red card situation. Obviously Chamberlain was the one who handled the ball (would have been a great save if it was anywhere near going in...), but then the referee shows the red card to a seemingly innocent Gibbs. I say seemingly because it may have looked as if the referee just forgot who  had just handled the ball a moment earlier, but if you go back and look at the first two goals Chelski scored I think the ref got it absolutely right. 

Kieren Gibbs was absolutely nowhere to be seen when Eto'o got the first, and I'm still not sure the young Englishman had even come out of the dressing room when the Russian's got their second. Chamberlain (all be it unsuccessfully) tracked back to defend on both occasions to try and fill in at left-back, but the actual left back was present in neither the failed Arsenal attack or the Chelsea counter. So you've got to ask where the hell he actually was? So the red card, I believe was shown to Gibbs for one simple reason; he was just too crap on the day. I believe referee's should do more of this. I mean, think about it for a moment - the quality of football matches would improve dramatically if the ref just sent off any underperforming players. Far more important than a TV for the fourth official if you ask me. I give it a couple of seasons before it's properly implemented. Stoke wouldn't have a player on the field after 35 minutes.

We can, however, draw one positive from the utter failure at the bus-stop in Fulham. We all know that Chelski fans are hideously stupid and only show up to games because of the bright lights and pretty colours, but it strikes me as amazing how quiet a fan base is when their team is up 6-0 against potential title rivals. If you're not going to sing when your team is 2, 3, 4 or 5 goals up, then why are you there? The loyal and fantastic Gooners that travel to every away game were borderline heroic for their constant support of a clearly struggling Arsenal team. I may not have felt proud, but I'll always be proud to be a Gooner, and I will always be proud NOT to be a Chelski fan. 

Being a Chelski fan means a couple of things; The little blue knob-ends don't have souls or personalities, they've just been replaced by mucous and dog shit. You think I'm just trying to be funny, but it's true. I've been forcibly surrounded by Chelsea fans my whole life, and all it did was show me how not to act. I've even got a theory on the original purpose of Stamford Bridge and how we should actually support it's use. Pigs have pig-pens, rats have cages, and even sloth's stay in trees away from everyday life. If these wonderful animals are kept away in cages, then why are filthy Chelsea fans allowed to roam around the streets un-supervised? Well, that's why Stamford Bridge was erected. Wave some flags to attract the dizzy idiots in, then slam the doors shut behind them, problem solved. I believe it was the residents of Fulham that came up with that idea.

I think we all need a little pick-me-up after the farce yesterday, so here is a nice little vid I found to cheers us all up, and remember that as much as we looked like 11 legless schoolgirls on Saturday, this is Arsenal Football Club after all, and we've seen some epic times to shadow the not so good times. Let's allow this one to fade away into those shadows so we can concentrate on the FA Cup and perhaps end our faithful managers' Arsenal career on a high.